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fantasticbeasts_kinkmeme) wrote2016-11-23 07:27 am
fantasticbeasts_kinkmeme) wrote2016-11-23 07:27 am
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Prompt Post #1
ROUND 1
FUCK IT WE'LL FIGURE OUT SPECIFICS LATER
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Fill (ficlet): Customer satisfaction
(Anonymous) 2016-12-21 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)---
The bakery door slams open so hard, it’s a wonder the little bell isn’t knocked clean off. Jacob gulps as a scowling woman storms over to the counter, tugging a young boy along behind her. She slams a paper bag down next to the cash register.
“I want a refund.”
Jacob glances around the store; Queenie looks over from where she’s rearranging the window display. He gives her a quick smile before turning back to the customer.
“I’m uh, I’m real sorry to hear that ma’am. We try to make sure all our customers are satisfied. What, what did you say the problem was?”
The woman leans over the counter, and Jacob takes half a step back. “It moved.”
Across the room, Queenie coughs.
“I’m sorry ma’am, did you say… your pastry moved?”
The woman narrows her eyes. “Listen buddy, I don’t know what kind of vermin you’ve got running around in here but this thing moved, I saw it with my own two eyes. I spent a whole quarter on this thing and my Jimmy refuses to eat it because it moves, he says, thinks it’s alive and I –”
Queenie appears beside the woman, taking her elbow gently. “I’m so sorry ma’am, there must have been some misunderstanding. Your son says the pastry moved, but you didn’t see it yourself?”
The woman tugs her elbow free and glares at Queenie. Jacob feels his shoulders tense.
“I didn’t – are you calling my Jimmy a liar? He’s a good honest boy and he saw – I bet it’s full of cockroaches, or Lord only knows what else, and I want a refund or I’m bringing the health inspector right down here, don’t you think I won’t! My husband –”
“Of course, of course, we’ll get your refund just right away, won’t we honey?” Queenie turns to smile at Jacob, stunning as ever, and he smiles back for a long moment before snapping into action.
“Right! Yes ma’am, one refund coming right up.”
“I should think so. Just appalling, that’s what this is, I – what?!” The woman snaps down at her son, who’s tugging on her sleeve.
“Mommy… what’s going to happen to him?”
“To who, sweetie?”
“To the… to Niff-niff.” The boy looks up at the wrapped package on the counter with wide eyes.
Jacob freezes, and slowly looks over at Queenie. She avoids his eyes.
“Well now,” Queenie says, scooping the package down off the counter and crouching down in front of the boy. “Let’s see how Niff-niff is doing first, shall we?”
The woman splutters. “Don’t you dare open that thing in here, it’s crawling with –”
“Why don’t you go take a look at the pains au chocolat? Jacob’s new recipe for them is just lovely.” Queenie flicks her wrist in a complicated gesture and the woman’s mouth snaps shut. Silently, she wanders over to browse the shelves.
“Now,” Queenie continues, smiling sweetly at the boy. “Jimmy, wasn’t it? You were worried about Niff-niff here?”
Jimmy nods, but he’s staring over at his mother. “How… how did you do that?”
Queenie winks. “Our little secret. Now, let’s take a look…” She peels back the paper bag to unwrap one of their famous niffler choux, perfectly browned on its little forehead and tummy. “There you are, Niff-niff. How are you doing?”
And the pastry moves, wrinkling its snout and turning its head before waving a paw at Jimmy. Jimmy stares, open-mouthed, and Jacob’s pretty sure he’s got an identical expression on his own face.
“Queenie, what…” Queenie cuts him off with a glance and a wink. Jacob snaps his mouth shut.
“You see Jimmy? Niff-niff is just fine. All tasty and ready for eating, right Niff-niff?” The pastry nods its head and Jimmy pales, backing away.
“I can’t – I can’t eat him, he’s alive!”
“Oh no honey, not alive – just animated with a simple –”
Jacob coughs. “Queenie, I’m not sure Jimmy understands your, uh, animation tricks.”
Jimmy has reached out a hand to poke the pastry niffler’s tummy, and it wriggles its little paws like it’s being tickled. He looks up at Queenie again. “Will he be okay, after mom sends him back?”
Queenie’s brow furrows for a moment, then she gets that Look in her eyes that Jacob knows all too well, and smiles. “Of course honey. You just leave everything to us. We’ll take Niff-niff out the back to play with all of his friends, once your mother’s gone.”
Jimmy grins and runs around to Queenie’s side to hug her. “Thank you! Mommy said she was gonna get rid of him.”
“Well that would be just awful, wouldn’t it Jacob?” Jacob blinks, and shakes his head.
“Yeah, sure, just awful.”
Queenie beams at him and gets to her feet, wrapping Nif– the pastry back up in its bag. Jimmy’s mother strides back over to the counter and takes Jimmy’s hand, glowering at Jacob expectantly.
“Ah, yes ma’am, here’s your refund in full. So sorry about the mix-up, it won’t happen again.”
“Hmph.” She turns on her heel without so much as a ‘thank you’, and Jacob bristles. “Come on, Jimmy. My friends are going to be hearing about this, just you wait. My husband will make sure you never get another customer in –” She pauses just by the door, blinking.
Jacob looks over at Queenie just in time to catch her slipping a hand back into her pocket.
The woman shakes her head. “What was I saying? Come on Jimmy, we have to get to the post office.” She ushers her son out of the store.
After the door swings shut behind her, Jacob stares at it for a long moment before turning back to Queenie. She’s got the pastry unwrapped again, and is scratching it under its chin.
“We need to have another talk about no-maj food.”
Author anon
(Anonymous) 2016-12-21 03:53 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Fill (ficlet): Customer satisfaction
(Anonymous) 2016-12-21 05:08 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Fill (ficlet): Customer satisfaction
(Anonymous) 2016-12-22 02:24 am (UTC)(link)Re: Fill (ficlet): Customer satisfaction
(Anonymous) 2016-12-23 04:01 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Fill (ficlet): Customer satisfaction
(Anonymous) 2016-12-23 04:45 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Fill (ficlet): Customer satisfaction
(Anonymous) 2016-12-23 07:11 pm (UTC)(link)I've also put it on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8964259
Re: Fill (ficlet): Customer satisfaction
(Anonymous) 2017-01-21 08:33 am (UTC)(link)