fantasticbeasts_kinkmeme ([personal profile] fantasticbeasts_kinkmeme) wrote2016-11-23 07:27 am
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Prompt Post #1



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Newt/Graves, post-coital cigarette

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 01:27 pm (UTC)(link)
and Newt looking adorably flushed and rumpled and sweet

Re: Newt/Graves, post-coital cigarette

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 05:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I have the mightiest of needs. Sadly, I'm not much of a writer. If you need a drawing though lol.

Re: Newt/Graves, post-coital cigarette

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-20 09:21 (UTC) - Expand

Mary Lou/Credence, Credence/Any, spanking revisited

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 02:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Aside from the beltings, Mary Lou gave Credence weekly maintenance spankings - the classic, over-the knee way with her bare hand, scolding him for his past and future sins, but also telling him that she loved him, that these were for his own good, etc. She kept up the practice well into his teen years, so they became Credence's only foray into sensuality, due to the ambiguous physical/emotional closeness, and finally the only way he can become aroused.

After the events of the play, Credence falls for [character of your choice], but thinks he won't get hard/keep it up unless he's told to bare his bottom and lie across their lap. Cue shame and anxiety, until his partner finds out in the end and reassures him that it's perfectly fine as long as it's consensual. They try it out, with partner being careful to turn Mary Lou's scolding into praise* and checking that it's a truly erotic experience, and getting super aroused by it too.

*I'd rather they did not go into BDSM/powerplay territory, rather the partner telling Credence how gorgeous he looks, how they love giving him pleasure, etc.

Re: Mary Lou/Credence, Credence/Any, spanking revisited

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 02:12 pm (UTC)(link)
*events of the film

Graves/ANY H/C Graves!Whump - Graves questioning Grindlewald

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 05:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Inspired by a prompt above, but my focus is a wee bit different so i figured it should get its own thread: SPN fans, do you recall an episode back in season 4, where Castiel was pressured into pressuring Dean to torture the demon Alastair? Who had tortured and broken him in hell? And who totally had the psychological advantage and was effectively destroying Dean all over again by making him become a torturer again?

That, my friends, was some fucking AMAZING dark AF telly.

So I'm thinking: Graves being pushed into having to question Grindlewald. Having to TORTURE Grindlewald, ultimately. But Grindlewald is absolutely headfucking him in these sessions, using everything he knows about Graves. And Picquery kinda KNOWS that she's complicit in continuing to fuck Graves over, but they need to know stuff about Grindlewald, so she's guilting him into having to go through with it, and it is TEARING HIM APART.

And, yeah, I'd love to have somebody (Tina, Newt, Theseus, Queenie) trying to comfort him - Queenie could be amazing, actually - which could be platonic, or sexy - could involve BDSM scenes, if that's what it takes. Whatever you fancy, Nonny. It's that whole Graves-walking-knowingly-into-horrors-and-letting-himself-be-broken thing I want.

Re: Graves/ANY H/C Graves!Whump - Graves questioning Grindlewald

(Anonymous) 2017-01-07 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
If I had even a smidge of writing skill I would fill this in an instant, as it is all I can do is stare longingly at the prompt until someone better than I takes up the challenge! Seconded!!

Newt/Graves - The Most Beautiful Man In The World

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 05:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Can someone write a fic based off of @ofgeography 's The Most Beautiful Man In The World post? If you don't know what that is: (

Like Newt has the biggest crush on The Most Beautiful Man In The World aka Graves and every time they see one another Newt does something and then kicks himself for being so awkward.

Re: Newt/Graves - The Most Beautiful Man In The World

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)
To add to this, what about Graves' perspective like, does that calm exterior hide his thoughts like; ... crap... he's cute af, though. What is this feeling?!

Re: Newt/Graves - The Most Beautiful Man In The World

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-18 20:24 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Newt/Graves - The Most Beautiful Man In The World

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-19 00:36 (UTC) - Expand

Newt/Graves, adjusting to getting constantly fucked, dub-con, D/s

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
No deep thought here, I just wanna see Newt trying to get used to being constantly on his back/hands and knees like a dutiful husband, and getting fucked. As in, Graves enjoying his ass in the morning, afternoon and in the evening and Newt trying to learn to be on disposal, no matter he wants it or not. No-reedeming qualities whatosoever, just pure fucking. You can make it with or without mpreg (if it's with then I wanna see Graves breeding him constantly), just Newt from his first night as a newlywed and without experience and Graves mounting him *smirks*Bonus points if Newt is asking advice from others (Queenie maybe) on how to learn to take it*g* I just wanna see Newt crying so prettily while his ass is getting reamed
this anon thanks you from the bottom of his black soul

Re: Newt/Graves, adjusting to getting constantly fucked, dub-con, D/s

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Hello, this is RTMI, I will be setting up camp here.

Credence, haircutting

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 06:55 pm (UTC)(link)

So, we can all agree that Ezra Miller is a precious wee twink of surpassing fuckability, yes?

But, dear God, the haircut. The haircut. Credence's haircut is pointedly, BRUTALLY ugly. It screams "punishment".

Which leads me to think - what if Credence USED to look like the gif above? And, inevitably, it led to him being hit on by, well, EVERYONE, basically - and Mary Lou found him making out with some guy (oh God - MAYBE THE PRIEST? Or maybe it was a muscle-bound lad a couple of years older, all sweetly fumbling and urgent and consensual? Or maybe he was assaulted?) Whatever - Mary Lou totally lost her shit, held him to blame, beat him to within an inch of his life and hacked his pretty pretty hair into this wretchedly ugly crop.

j_gabrielle: (Default)

Re: Credence, haircutting

[personal profile] j_gabrielle 2016-12-19 01:42 am (UTC)(link)
So, we can all agree that Ezra Miller is a precious wee twink of surpassing fuckability, yes?

Yes. Yes we all can.

Re: Credence, haircutting

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-19 04:07 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Credence, haircutting

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-20 17:19 (UTC) - Expand

Credence/everyone - gentle worship

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 07:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I have a mighty need for the whole gang worshipping the hell out of Credence and making beautiful, gentle love to him - all together!

Re: Credence/everyone - gentle worship

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 07:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Gentle, loving gangbangs are my jam, anon. Seconded!

Minifill - Drink, yea, drink abundantly, o Beloved

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-18 20:55 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Minifill - Drink, yea, drink abundantly, o Beloved

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-18 21:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Minifill - Drink, yea, drink abundantly, o Beloved

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-18 22:02 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Minifill - Drink, yea, drink abundantly, o Beloved

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-18 22:03 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Minifill - Drink, yea, drink abundantly, o Beloved

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-18 22:08 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Minifill - Drink, yea, drink abundantly, o Beloved

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-19 06:38 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Minifill - Drink, yea, drink abundantly, o Beloved

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-29 23:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Minifill - Drink, yea, drink abundantly, o Beloved

(Anonymous) - 2017-01-07 22:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Minifill - Drink, yea, drink abundantly, o Beloved

(Anonymous) - 2017-01-12 16:40 (UTC) - Expand

Tina & rest of the MACUSA, searching for Graves

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
There are so many brilliant fics and prompts about Graves being rescued and recovering, and even about Graves in captivity but the rescue itself is usually just glossed over. What I really really want fic focusing on the search itself. I want to see Picquery ordering all of MACUSA to search for Graves until he is found alive or dead, them interrogating Grindelwald who spouts nonsense just to fuck with them. I want to see Aurors not leaving for home and searching every corner of New York and Tina asking Newt if he has some creature who could sniff him out. And maybe when Graves is found aurors fight about who will guard his hospital room until he recovers.

Re: Tina & rest of the MACUSA, searching for Graves

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Mmm, yes. This. Loyalty kink is my catnip!

First reaction to original!Graves after the events of the movie

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 09:31 pm (UTC)(link)
So, Grindewald-as-Graves was ... not nice. He was being a creep towards Credence, threw hexes at Newt and condemned him and Tina to death.

Let's say that the original Graves came back, after the events of the movie. What would the other characters' (Newt, Tina, Credence if we play with the thought that he's somewhat okay, and anyone else you'd want to add) initial reactions be to Graves, who look and sound exactly like the one who did that to them?

I imagine there'd be some trust issues, a little bit of fear and a lot of uncomfort. Like, him moving too fast and someone finches, him raising his voice and someone quickly shutting up. How does it affect Graves, how does it affect everyone else, and how (if at all) do they get past it?

Re: First reaction to original!Graves after the events of the movie

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Would love this to be filled

Newt/Graves a/b/o, holding their child for the first time

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I adore the mummy!Newt tags and I just have a mighty need for some a/b/o fluff.

+ Ecstatic Theseus is ecstatic but also torn because that's my baby brother you knocked up Graves how dare you.
++ Jacob-I've-got-something-in-my-eye-Kowalski being named godfather
+++ Graves cries a little holding this little bundle of joy and almost everyone has an aneurysm because MY BOSS IS CRYING.

It's an emotional time.
Have at thee. :D

Re: Newt/Graves a/b/o, holding their child for the first time

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
You had me at Jacob and Graves tearing up! Somebody please fill this!

Graves/Newt -- Sentinel/Guide au

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)
(come on guys -- we have over 3000 comments and no one's brought up sentinel/guide yet? or if you have, I've totally missed it and would love a link)

For the unfamiliar: Sentinels are individuals with enhanced senses (sometimes all five, sometimes only one or two), and Guides have empathetic abilities that they use to help ground the Sentinels when they zone (become too focused on one sense, and can't break out of it). In most fics, Sentinels can work with other Guides (and vice versa), but there's always the One True Guide. It's fun times.

When Graves is rescued from whatever hellhole Grindelwald stashed him in, he's practically gone feral. It's a bad place to be for Sentinels -- especially one as powerful and controlled as Graves -- and Newt, as the only Guide on hand, is brought in to help bring him out of it. Of course, they start to imprint and bond with each other. So not only is Graves lashing out in anger and confusion -- he's also become extremely protective and possessive of his new Guide.

idk you guys I just want sentinel/guide shenanigans. I'm a simple girl with simple needs.

Re: Graves/Newt -- Sentinel/Guide au

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 09:55 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG YES!! Op is right, I don't think I've seen a Sentinel/Guide prompt yet either but NO FANDOM IS COMPLETE WITHOUT ONE!

You go OP.

Re: Graves/Newt -- Sentinel/Guide au

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-18 21:57 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Graves/Newt -- Sentinel/Guide au

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Re: Graves/Newt -- Sentinel/Guide au

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-18 22:47 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Graves/Newt -- Sentinel/Guide au

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-19 01:25 (UTC) - Expand

Newt/Percival/Credence: New and Credence keep forgetting plans with Percival

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 11:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Percival, Newt, and Credence are together, after a whole lot of adjusting and healing from their ordeals. Percival loves these two men with all his heart, it's all new and a little daunting to the man who spent most of his life dedicated to his job. Things are going well, but slowly Newt and Credence get so wrapped up in something to do with the creatures they unknowingly start to forget the plans they make with Percival.

Percival tries not to let it get to him, but after several dinner dates where he ends up eating alone, it starts to wear on him. He keeps his mental shields up so as not to alert Queenie, but Tina can tell that something is making her boss deeply sad. Newt and Credence are unaware that they are neglecting Percival and he in turn doesn't really call them out on it because he doesn't want to dampen their happiness. Things just keep piling up until finally, Newt and Credence forget something really really important, like maybe Percival's birthday, or even a special awards dinner where he was to receive top honors. Either way, Percival goes through it feeling desolate and unhappy and finally has enough.

When he gets home, Newt and Credence are oblivious still, until they either notice the date or the award Percival's holding. They are sick with guilt, but Percival makes it clear that he's in no mood for apologies. Now Newt and Credence have to work their butts off to earn back Percival's smile.

Bonus: If Tina, Queenie, and Jacob get angry with Percival first for ignoring Newt and Credence and then feel guilty when they find out the truth from Newt and Credence.

Extra Bonus: If the magical creatures comfort Percival and try in their own well-inteded but disastrous ways to get everyone back together.

Original Graves/Credence - Love Like Religious Worship

(Anonymous) 2016-12-18 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Graves is found alive, barely. Credence, brought into the fold and being trained in basic magics, sees Graves' recovery as a resurrection. He starts comparing Graves to God's Son in his mind, first guiltily, then more worshipfully.

Graves died and came back to help his followers.

Graves can turn water into wine.

Graves wants Credence to recover from being an Obscurial - to help him save his soul.

At first Credence keeps to himself, but as time passes the two become closer. Graves isn't immune to Credence's charms, though the young man isn't aware that he has any. Credence has no experience with relationships or sex, the only true love he's ever felt is for God and for Christ. But he feels something powerful, warm, welcoming, and terrifying when he's with Mr. Graves.

Newt/Percival/Credence: Credence thinks he's not good enough for Newt and Percival

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
Credence is alive and free of the Obscurus, but he has near crippling insecurities, especially now that he's in a relationship with Newt and Percival. Percival and Newt loves Credence with all that they have, knowing that they would be incomplete without him. But even with all the reassurance in the world, Credence has a lifetime and Mary-Lou's poisonous hatred swirling in his mind. To make matters worse, Credence can hear the whispers of people at MACUSA and the Wizarding Community, how they think he's a freak or that he should have been put to death, while still others wonder what attractive men like Newt and Percival see in him. On top of that, Credence feels like he's not making enough progress in learning magic despite Newt and Percival's loving tutelage.

All of these comments soon prove to be too much for Credence and he plans to run away and free Newt and Percival. Thankfully, Queenie catches on to how Credence is feeling and what he's planing, so on the eve of his secret departure, both Newt and Percival stop him and get to the bottom of things. They are heartbroken that Credence feels as he does, and also angry as hell at those who contributed to Credence's insecurities. Together they show Credence just how much he means to them, and later on they show everyone else just how much they belong to Credence.

Bonus: if Credence gains confidence slowly but surely, coming into his own and also asserting his claim over Newt and Percival in turn

Re: Newt/Percival/Credence: Credence thinks he's not good enough for Newt and Percival

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
A+ Prompt.

Hope this gets filled, its to good to be ignored up.

Graves/Credence - praying

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 12:49 am (UTC)(link)
Graves finds Credence alone in the Second Salem church, praying silently and kneels behind him, gradually starting to touch him and tear him apart, promising in soft whispers to keep going only if Credence keeps praying aloud through it

Re: Graves/Credence - praying

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 06:35 am (UTC)(link)
ohhhh nonny BLESS you

Newt/Percival/Credence: Percival and Credence set Newt's brother and family straight

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
Newt is happy and in love with not one but two wonderful men. Percival and Credence, slowly recovering from their ordeals at Grindelwald's hands, are just as smitten with Newt, the one under who love and gentle care they were able to function again and understand that the things that happened were not their fault. They are all very happy together and with Newt's creatures.

Then Newt receives a letter from home and it throws them all for a loop. Newt's parents and Theseus all want to see him and they will not take no for an answer. With great reluctance, Newt agrees to go back to London to visit, Percival and Credence naturally coming along. Newt's parents and Theseus seem pleasant enough, but both Percival and Credence notice that their verbal jabs at Newt a subtle but there in all their hurtful glory. They watch as their beloved Newt just takes every veiled hurtful comment in silence. Theseus is charismatic for sure, but seems to always put Newt down. Their parents a blatantly more affectionate with Theseus while scoffing at anything Newt achieves.

Percival and Credence a both silently furious at seeing Newt treated this way. One day Theseus of the mom or dad say something particularly hurtful, to where they nearly drive Newt to tears and Percival and Credence finally have enough. They both come to Newt's defense and let his family have it for being so horrible and not seeing what an amazing man Newt is. They both get really fired up talking about how when the rest of the world seemed to give up on them, Newt didn't. At one point Newt's case bursts open and something huge, like the Erumpent or the Nundu comes barging out and glares at Newt's parents and brother, as if backing Percival and Credence up. At the very end of it, Newt himself stand up to his family and very calmly tells them that while he loves all of them, he is sick and tired of the way they treat him, and that Percival, Credence, and the creatures have proven to be his true family.

Cue Theseus and Momma and Poppa Scamander suddenly feeling deeply guilty and ashamed of how they've always treated Newt and for how they've made him feel like they don't care, and perhaps even a bit terrified when they see that he's got the love of some highly dangerous creatures, and two very powerful wizards as well.

Original Graves/President Picquery, office sex

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 02:55 am (UTC)(link)
Graves eats President Picquery out under her desk. That's it that's the prompt.

Re: Original Graves/President Picquery, office sex

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
oh HELL yeah

Fill: Original Graves/President Picquery, office sex

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-20 22:07 (UTC) - Expand

Graves saves himself

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
WHILE GrindelGraves is off doing evil shit, Originalgraves has been slowly wearing away at his bonds and the wards.

WHILE the Obscurial hunt is ongoing, OriginalGraves has broken out, hurting and disoriented, with one goal in his mind: vengeance and justice

OriginalGraves stumbles his way back to the ministry, gathers his strength and decides that he has to take down the monster wearing his face no matter what!

Cue, OriginalGraves showing up to kick ass and take names.
missisjoker: (Default)

Re: Graves saves himself

[personal profile] missisjoker 2016-12-19 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
Amen to this! This is awesome!

Re: Graves saves himself

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-19 12:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Graves saves himself

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-19 13:27 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Graves saves himself

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-19 13:57 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Graves saves himself

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-20 21:09 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Graves saves himself

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-27 16:48 (UTC) - Expand

Newt is Artemis Reincarnate

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 03:22 am (UTC)(link)
Artemis is the goddess of wilderness, the hunt and wild animals, and fertility.

Newt Artemis Fido Scamander has always been vaguely aware of the fact he's Artemis reincarnate, but it's a distant memory, a book he read ages ago and can't remember the exact details. He's just Newt, magizoologist in this lifetime thank you very much, but you don't galavant across the world in search of magical creatures without getting into a tight spot or two.

Or 5 times Newt seemed other-worldly to someone, and 1 time everyone found out the truth please?

*Or if it's easier to write Newt not knowing he's Artemis reincarnate in the beginning either, then go for it! As long as everyone figures it out in the end.

Re: Newt is Artemis Reincarnate

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
Artemis is also goddess of Virginity ;)

Re: Newt is Artemis Reincarnate

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-19 04:01 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Newt is Artemis Reincarnate

(Anonymous) - 2016-12-19 04:37 (UTC) - Expand

Graves/Newt: Wax and furniture play

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
So I did an art and wrote a little blurb for a friend and I love the idea, but I am not a writer. So anon, please write Graves using Newt as furniture, with Newt remaining still with a lit candle on him so Graves can finish his work. You can reference my trash at the link below. Thank you!

Re: Graves/Newt: Wax and furniture play

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 04:08 pm (UTC)(link)
this is really hot holy fuck

Graves/Grindelwald- Reluctant Relationship, angst, h/c, twisted relationships, possible dubcon,

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 04:12 am (UTC)(link)
While Graves is being held captive by Grindelwald, both discover that the other is his soulmate. Neither one is particularly happy about this. Grindelwald because he thought Albus was his soulmate, and Graves because he doesn't want a psychopath for a soulmate. However, they still feel an undeniable pull towards each other. Grindelwald makes Graves captivity fairly comfortable, and Graves might hate everything about the man, but he still can't help the fact that sex with Grindelwald is the best he's ever had.

After Grindelwald escapes, he tries to stay away, but still can't resist dropping in on Graves now and again. Graves wishes a part of him didn't like those visits.

Fill: Soulmates

(Anonymous) 2016-12-23 04:18 am (UTC)(link)

Re: Fill: Soulmates

(Anonymous) - 2017-02-06 01:13 (UTC) - Expand

Newt/Graves and Graves/Theseus Cheating and the After Math

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
So Newt and Graves are in a relationship, maybe new maybe established, when Theseus stops by New York to visit. One thing leads to another and Graves ends up sleeping with Theseus and Newt finds out. Whatever happens next is up to the author!

+Bonus points for Graves and Theseus having oh shit what did we do and being honestly upset by what they did.
++Newt struggles with confronting Graves and his brother and begins to question his self worth.
+++Graves comes home and all of Newt's things are just gone.

Re: Newt/Graves and Graves/Theseus Cheating and the After Math

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
Oh fuck it's gonna hurt but yes yes yessssssssss!!!! Seconded so hard! *setting up camp*

Graves/Grindelwald, Picquery, MACUSA- Bad Decisions, noncon, forced voyeurism, country domination

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
Keeping the darkest wizard of the age in prison in their headquarters was a very bad idea. When Grindelwald escapes, instead of running, he takes over the headquarters and forces everyone who won't side with him into the cells. To make sure they realize who's in charge, he bends their Director of Magical Security over a desk and makes them watch as he rapes him.

Re: Graves/Grindelwald, Picquery, MACUSA- Bad Decisions, noncon, forced voyeurism, country dominatio

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 05:38 am (UTC)(link)
yes. please.

Dumbledore/Grindelwald, Grindelwald/Other- Any Other Name, angst, h/c

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
Grindelwald accidently calls his lover (any character) Albus during sex.

Vampire!Graves x Newt Scamander

(Anonymous) 2016-12-19 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
Based on this :

Basically, it can be either original!Graves turned into vampire by Grindelwald and Newt helping him cope with the new condition (and studying him at the same time because he is now a fantastic beast)

or a total AU where Newt hears rumors about a vampire in New York and tries to investigate, which backfires spectacularly when the said vampire becomes very, very interested in him.

Re: Vampire!Graves x Newt Scamander

(Anonymous) 2016-12-22 03:29 am (UTC)(link)
Not OP but I'm voting for that second one ngl